“Your story is your sword. Swing it well.”
These are sacred words spoken to me by my husband. Beautifully said, right? We all need words of life. I am no exception. I need them often actually. But sadly there are many days that the enemy will convince me that I’m not worthy enough to swing that sword, much less make a difference. And, I will then begin believing the enemies deceitful word over me more than God’s promised word over me.
With every ounce of strength in me though, I continue to try and lift that sword, while reaching to believe the purpose in ME swinging it.
Last night I received the most precious and treasured gift from someone very special. To me, it was another affirming breadcrumb that I must continue to swing this sword. It came from a young woman I was able to hug and speak into after sharing my story last weekend. Within her words, she proclaimed how I ministered to her, but what she did for me through her words to me last night, was minister to me.
I love how God reveals Himself when there is an obedience and an asking to allow Him to move in our lives.
With her full permission, I am going to share what she sent to me. Her words to me are MY WHY I am choosing to swing this sword and follow the breadcrumbs that God is laying out before me. So suddenly and so rapidly. All because I’ve asked with a pure heart to be used for His purpose. Thank you God for hearing my cries.
After she sent me this, we chatted for a few minutes and her last words to me were, “thank you for all you’re doing.” I feel so unworthy to be thanked tor that. I am just an ordinary girl, with a painful past, who struggles to believe her worth. But, I am so honored and humbled, nonetheless.
It is a privilege to know this sweet girl that I can now call friend. I will be her biggest cheerleader as she continues on her own path of finding healing, and perhaps breadcrumbs of her own.
Her words:
“Hi! Something exciting in my life happened this week due to what God did through you and your husband coming to our church so I figured I would share it with you 🙂. After you and I talked on Sunday I started thinking a lot with what I was identifying myself with/as. In that thought process I came to realize that I was still holding onto a lot of baggage from my past and identifying myself with what I had been instead of Christ in me. I had also started to measure my success in the work I could do and the steps I took to get away from my attempted suicide and not the resting in the creator’s embrace. I wasn’t identifying myself as in Christ, but rather what was “wrong” with me, my OCD and suicide attempt. In the recent days I have become less terrified to share my full story, because it is no longer what defines me. I feel more free to pull back the curtain because what I am revealing no longer feels like the core of who I am, but a shining example of how Christ is working in and through me. All of this culminated in me wanting to take some tangible action to cast off all that was of the old me, and this is where the picture comes into play. I have a small journal that I kept during my high school years when I attempted suicide and in it I had the hospital band from my stay in the emergency and subsequently the mental health hospital. I don’t know why I kept it, and honestly I didn’t really want to have it, but I felt that for some reason something bad would happen if I ever got rid of it (that’s the enemy for you lying to me and wanting to keep me trapped in a cycle of shame and tied to my past in an unhealthy way). I decided that I wanted to burn it, to completely destroy this thing that is the physical manifestation of what I was putting my identity in. It took me a couple days to get up the courage, but last night we started a small fire in our back yard and with the support of my parents, my boyfriend, and my brother I burnt it. As the fire was consuming the bracelet the thought “This experience no longer defines me, but just as this bracelet became to tool to provide heat and warmth, so will God use this experience that I went through to provide help and comfort to others (just like you did with me)”. Anyway I know this is a long story and God has done so many more exciting things in my life this past week, but I wanted to share with you and celebrate what God has done, not only in my life, but in yours and your husband’s as well. I know there will still be hard days, but I praise God that He will use those hard days for His glory!”
What you do matters, but WHY you do it matters much more.
#Isaiah6eight #Jeremiah29Eleven #isaiah61three #mywhy #womenunveiled #redemption #restoration #affirmation #breadcrumbs
